HW # 21 - Comments

BEN

I liked your first connection about visiting your good friend's mother with ALS in the hospital and how you would chat about the Patriots (cannot believe you're a Patriot fan) in order to keep the conversation upbeat. I know that ALS is a terrible disease and it would be interesting to hear how seeing someone with it firsthand affected you. I myself have never been with anyone with a serious disease. I think that having that experience must be powerful and important in the way that it makes death and dying more real, making us aware, as Beth said, of our own mortality. I also liked the connection you made to Beth's taking care of her husband with only the help of her son when you told us that your aunt took care of your sick grandmother all by herself. I think it must be true that many more women take care of sick and dying relatives than men do. It's obviously much nicer for a sick person not to have to be in the hospital but it must have been a huge burden in this case for your aunt.


Natalie

I was really impressed with the connection you made from your own experience with your dad to Beth's treatment of all those who were helping her husband in the hospital. Without judging your father (we all have our impatient moments), the fact that you felt so badly for the waitress and could imagine I think that if he had suddenly started choking she might not have performed the Heimlich Maneuver with much gusto. Hospital workers are paid to help patients but they are obviously going to perform their jobs with more good will when they are treated with respect, and even more than respect with friendship. Your mother's story about the poor man who died alone was really interesting because of your point that maybe it is easier to die if you don't have anyone to live for. It's true that a dying person would naturally feel terrible about leaving people who are dependent on them. On the other hand I think for many people death is scary because whether you have people or not to share your life death is still scary because it is unknown. Obviously you’re an excellent writer and this is an excellent blog post. I would like to emphasize the magnitude of your last line “When does death stop being the enemy…and become the natural idea.” Death has been my greatest enemy for as long as I can remember, and I think it will take an awful lot for me to picture it as “the most natural idea,” but I hope I can. In fact, ideally I hope I can think of it as a great adventure when my time comes (but I wouldn’t put any money on it.)